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	<title>The Right Side of Fifty</title>
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	<link>http://www.kimkerley.com</link>
	<description>Health, Beauty and Having it ALL!</description>
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		<title>Now I&#8217;m Cooking!</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=475</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Apr 2012 21:18:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Inspiration]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[I have some pictures of a few dishes I made this last week. My favorite &#8216;go-to&#8217; recipe is black beans and rice: Drain and rinse two cans of black beans (you CAN cook your own!) Place in a pot with some splashes of vegetable stock. Add: onions, red bell peppers, tomatoes, corn, braggs amino Cook&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=475">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have some pictures of a few dishes I made this last week. My favorite &#8216;go-to&#8217; recipe is black beans and rice: Drain and rinse two cans of black beans (you CAN cook your own!) Place in a pot with some splashes of vegetable stock. Add: onions, red bell peppers, tomatoes, corn, braggs amino Cook for a while then add some fresh spinach. Put some freshly made brown rice in the pot and stir! You can serve it on a tortilla, on top of half of a sweet potato then topped with mango! The latter is so yummy! Here is a picture of it served as a chalupa, topped with avocado and some salsa.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1633.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-large wp-image-476" title="IMG_1633" src="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1633-1024x768.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="465" /></a></p>
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<p>I also made a wonderful enchilada casserole. The recipe is in Engine 2. Basically, it is a layers of corn tortillas, mushrooms and spinach, then tater tots smothered in green sauce. It is so yummy!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1637.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-large wp-image-478" title="IMG_1637" src="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1637-1024x768.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="465" /></a></p>
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<p>These are lemon pancakes, also taken from <em><strong>Engine 2.</strong></em> They are made with corn meal, wheat flour and use the zest and juice of two lemons. Use some real maple syrup on these and enjoy!</p>
<p><a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1676.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-large wp-image-479" title="IMG_1676" src="http://www.kimkerley.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/IMG_1676-1024x768.jpg" alt="" width="620" height="465" /></a></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What&#8217;s for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner?</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=468</link>
		<comments>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=468#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Mar 2012 19:13:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[After two weeks of omitting all animal protein from my diet I am feeling great. The key to success and health is in how the meals are planned. For me, I feel I have made new friends with the Esselstyn family. Rip Esselstyn wrote a book, The Engine 2 Diet. I read that along with Forks Over Knives&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=468">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>After two weeks of omitting all animal protein from my diet I am feeling great. The key to success and health is in how the meals are planned. For me, I feel I have made new friends with the Esselstyn family. Rip Esselstyn wrote a book, <strong>The Engine 2 Diet</strong>. I read that along with <strong>Forks Over Knives</strong> and spent a lot of time in the recipe section of each book.</p>
<p>What I learned is how these Esselstyns eat! And I have to admit they eat well. Rip is a fireman in Austin. He had volunteers go on plant-based diets and every single one of them lowered their cholesterol levels, blood pressure and weight. Rip is a very active man, is strong and a world-class athlete; all fueled on plants.</p>
<p>Breakfast has been easy. I use the crock pot to make steel-cut oats over night. I wake up to a steaming bowl of oats, eat an apple later and I am good for the morning. Lunch and dinner has been whatever I have prepared the evening before. Thus far I have made vegetable lasagna, polenta pizza, hummus, black beans and rice, sweet potato mango bowl and salad. All of this has been tasty! According to the good doctors Esselstyn and Campbell, whole foods fill our stomachs on way less calories. Processed food is smaller, more dense with fats or sugars and the stomach does not fill up and signals that we need to eat more. Oh! That&#8217;s why one brownie was NEVER enough!! It is torturous to walk away from the sweets after just a small bite. But then again, I am highly sensitive to the wonderful taste of sugar and to the after effects that have caused a bit of damage. None of the recipes  in these two books I mentioned have the calorie counts- I have not stressed over calories- I eat plenty, love the food I have been making and feel great. In the short amount of time I have adhered to a plant-based diet my body has thanked me through shedding any bloating and losing about 4 pounds without counting one calorie!</p>
<p>I also bought Jillian Michaels 90-day work-out plan. I don&#8217;t give that program any credit for the weigh-loss YET. I just started.</p>
<p>Eating out is going to pose a problem. San Antonio has two vegetarian restaurants boasting a few vegan selections. San Marcos, as I found out last night does not have any. Austin has more, thanks to all of the &#8220;Keep Austin Weird&#8221; Folks!</p>
<p>It is imperative I cook and manage my diet in my own kitchen. unfortunately my LG oven has been half broken since December and as of yesterday, fully broken. Thanks appliance guy. Though I must go forward with no oven for the time being, I am not happy about it. When the oven is back up I will post pictures and recipes.</p>
<p>Thanks to those of you who have called or messaged me to encourage me and to share your own journey. I was not surprised that several of my friends are on the same path! As one friend told me, God put Adam and Eve in a GARDEN.</p>
<p>I will go with that!</p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>VEGAN is NOT a Dirty Word!</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=464</link>
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		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Mar 2012 17:01:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[I confess I wish to shout from the mountaintops not only that Jesus is Lord, but everything I have learned about what my diet was doing to me, and how eating vegan has changed my life. It sounds like I have fallen in love, but this is how a true breakthrough, or &#8216;Ah Ha&#8217; feels.&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=464">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I confess I wish to shout from the mountaintops not only that Jesus is Lord, but everything I have learned about what my diet was doing to me, and how eating vegan has changed my life.</p>
<p>It sounds like I have fallen in love, but this is how a true breakthrough, or &#8216;Ah Ha&#8217; feels. Like being on a high with clarity and calmness as  side-effects. Much better than nausea, diarrhea and death! Chas and I get a big laugh whenever we watch a pharmaceutical commercial and the majority of the commercial is the announcer listing all of the horrible side-effects of the drug. Sure you can get a good night&#8217;s sleep, but you may wake up covered in boils! Saturday Night Live does a funny take on the smokers patch, it helps Kristin Wig quit smoking, but she becomes homicidal. In the end, she finds it better to smoke than seek  a pharmaceutical remedy.</p>
<p>One of the strangest things I learned is that our medical doctors do not spend a lot of time learning about nutrition and how food effects our bodies. Just this morning a new study is out proclaiming that eating bacon every day will diminish your life expectancy by 20%. Red meat takes its toll in general. Wait a minute- hasn&#8217;t that information already been out for a while now? Why is this considered new?</p>
<p>Thomas Jefferson said, &#8220;The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease.&#8221; Got to give it to Thomas, he certainly had vision.</p>
<p>Hippocrates said, &#8220;Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food.&#8221; I can testify! When I eat a lot of fat in my diet I feel awful both physically and emotionally. I also do not think I am alone! But we have been trained by our government. Those fat-cats in Washington have made deals with devils and our nations health is proof.</p>
<p>Bill Maher said that there is no money in healthy or dead people. How true.</p>
<p>I stand in protest (again) in what our government has created as far as our food sources are concerned. In my protest, I may become healthy and the two major problems I have with my health, just may reverse. It is my protest to eat a plant-based diet and really enjoy it. I plan to eat more, feel better and lose weight naturally which has been my DREAM. Finally, lifestyle change means something to me. I had written earlier that in order to lose weight one just had to suck it up and admit to being on a diet. Well, this is evidence of my breakthrough.</p>
<p>When I am looking to buy a new car and have a model in mind, I notice them more readily on the highway. That model suddenly seems to be everywhere. The truth is, my attention is now focused on that model. Now I am tuned into the advertising of food: the commercials, billboards, neon-signs and the marketing ploys set to trap buyers. I am also wondering why Dr. Campbell and Dr. Esselstyn&#8217;s studies aren&#8217;t on they Yahoo! news? I am wondering why it seems so fringe as if only the &#8220;Keep Austin Weird&#8221; folks can relate?</p>
<p>I can also see the bloated effects food has on our citizens. But now I know, they have been fed lies as well as way too much high fructose corn syrup. Eating a plant-based diet is not a religion. I do not bow down to the flax-seed, but I do find a connection between my spirituality and feeling clean physically. It is what I have always wanted- that mind, body, spirit flow. Flow is hard when your arteries are full of grease. Let&#8217;s face the facts, but in order to do that we have to find the real facts.</p>
<p>And that is the issue. Who IS telling the truth here? Washington and the scientists who are on the payroll of lobbyists?</p>
<p>Check out: <em><strong>The China Study,</strong></em>  <em><strong>Forks Over Knives</strong></em> and  <em><strong>The Engine 2 Diet.</strong></em>  These scientists are telling the truth through major studies.</p>
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		<title>Something Has Taken Over!</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=459</link>
		<comments>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=459#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Mar 2012 18:33:47 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[My friend Mike asked me if Satan could replicate a three dollar bill. Since I was confused and didn&#8217;t answer, he told me that Satan copies and doesn&#8217;t create, that is God&#8217;s job. I liked that idea. That is why  prophets are copied by the psychics. And so I signed up for a &#8220;Word&#8221; from Jeremy Lopez.&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=459">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My friend Mike asked me if Satan could replicate a three dollar bill. Since I was confused and didn&#8217;t answer, he told me that Satan copies and doesn&#8217;t create, that is God&#8217;s job. I liked that idea. That is why  prophets are copied by the psychics. And so I signed up for a &#8220;Word&#8221; from Jeremy Lopez. I recommend Jeremy. I asked him to pray for me, he did and he sent me a message. It was spot on. He told me a lot of things but one of the main ideas through MY message was I have allowed my feelings, which I so often wear on my sleeve, to ruin my chances at being all I know I can be. God said he was going to give me a breakthrough in many areas, one being diet.</p>
<p>When I heard &#8220;diet&#8221; I knew Jeremy had a direct line. I always ask God for help in that area because I don&#8217;t do such a great job on my own. I am one of those people who eats to live and because of that I am killing myself. I know it. After a meal a few weeks ago at a restaurant known for its bread basket I became super sick and suffered the entire night with indigestion and depression. I asked myself how I could continue to do this over and over. Why is it that I can eat relatively healthy then blow it just because it is New Years or someone&#8217;s birthday and a cake was left in the break room?</p>
<p>Story of my adult life. As a child I don&#8217;t think I ever once questioned a food choice. It was provided and I ate it. The first time I remember dieting I was a Sophomore in high school. I ate grapefruit and cereal and lost a ton of weight. Then, when I went to gnaw on a piece of steak, my teeth hurt. I was scared right back into eating&#8230;.whatever again.</p>
<p>God told me He is the God of breakthroughs. I have certainly prayed for that, and here was Jeremy telling me that it was available to me. So, I have waited. I went to Fitness Ridge, bought their cookbooks and ate their food for a total of six weeks. I came home ready to eat like I did at the Ridge then failed. That was not my breakthrough. So, I waited.</p>
<p>During my &#8220;wait&#8221; times I always seek and read and pray. During my &#8220;wait&#8221; times I also eat pretty badly. But that last meal where I suffered physically and emotionally seemed to be the beginning of the end.</p>
<p>Two years ago I was turned on to a book called <em><strong>The China Study</strong></em> but only recently bought it. Hard read. I got through chapter four and stalled. It is about nutrition and the doctors who wrote it, Dr. Campbell and Dr. Campbell, do the job needed to expose what foods are good for us, why we eat the foods we do in this country, and the effect that diet is having on humanity. Dr. Colin Campbell grew up on a farm and devoted much time to helping starving children. His initial surprise was that the poor children who ate plant-based proteins provided by relief efforts did not get cancer, but their wealthier cohorts did. His life is forever changed in direction from that point. To make it more interesting is that Dr. C. Campbell was one of the lead scientist who worked for our government and was the lead scientist on nutritional studies. Our politicians didn&#8217;t like what he found. Very, very simply put, animal protein, and in the India study, milk protein, actually turns on cancer.</p>
<p>Since I couldn&#8217;t get past chapter four, I told my soon-to-be stepdaughter&#8217;s boyfriend, a resident physician in Los Angeles, that the research in the book was just not a page-turner for me. He said, without hesitation, &#8220;<em><strong>Forks Over Knives</strong></em>&#8220;. I said &#8220;What?&#8221; He said, &#8220;<em><strong>Forks Over Knives,</strong></em>&#8221; there is a book and a DVD. It will help you understand <em><strong>The China Study.</strong></em>&#8221;</p>
<p>I bought the set through a book club and there on that DVD was my breakthrough.</p>
<p>The book is edited by Gene Stone and has information in it from Dr. C. Campbell and Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn.  These men have been in the know for years, have a ton of research and proof of what they know and it is shocking. Dr. Esselstyn has worked on a longitudinal study which shows the complete reversal of cardio vascular disease, and learned our vessels can heal like our liver does. He treated one woman whose breast cancer had metastasized all over her body, and she is now in her late 70&#8242;s, cancer free and runs marathons. My kind of gal!</p>
<p>Recently we have learned that the government has bought all the pink slime and sent it to schools throughout our country. We know that how we harvest meat is having a negative impact on our crops and the environment, not to mention the horrible conditions our animals are made to &#8220;live&#8221; in for the sake of providing protein for our diet.</p>
<p>Our government subsidizes products that are killing us at alarming rates. And they know it. It is ironic, according to the research, that researchers are looking for cures for heart disease and cancer at the same time our government is subsidizing those very diseases.</p>
<p>I have never smoked because it kills, yet tobacco is legal and its best friends are in Washington. So it goes now with food. I am angry, but relieved that there is an answer for me.</p>
<p>I am now eating a vegan diet. I will not ever go back to eating meat, dairy or fish as long as I live, which according to the research will be a long time forgoing other circumstances.</p>
<p>After this breakthrough I went and bought informational cookbooks for beginning vegans, as well as consuming the whole <em><strong>Forks Over Knives </strong></em>recipe section. I went shopping and it was not daunting, it was fun. Breakfast is easy for me, I have been eating steel-cut oats cooked over night in a crock pot or organic cereal, both served with almond milk. Throw in an apple or an orange for the morning and I am good.</p>
<p>I knew that I would HAVE to have food made to eat properly. A plant-based diet seems so foreign to me, and I did try once before but ended up eating a bunch of bread because, well, I just had not had my breakthrough yet. I made a lentil meatloaf and it was great. I served it with mashed cauliflower and roasted brussel sprouts. Next, vegetable lasagna, followed by polenta pizza. I am drawn to comfort foods and for now that is okay. Today, for lunch a I made a Panini with freshly made hummus made without any oils, zucchini, tomato, avocado and onion. So satisfying, and so healthy!</p>
<p>So far I have avoided oils. I know that I may have to use some but the bottles of oils we have in the house will not see their way through my veins.</p>
<p>This is such an &#8220;ah ha&#8221; moment it is sort of overwhelming to me at times. I have not felt happier about my diet ever, and I have not felt so clean and clear-headed like this before. I highly recommend the book and DVD <em><strong>Forks Over Knives</strong></em>. Watch and read those if this blog bothers you in any way. Maybe it will be your breakthrough, or not, but the search is important!</p>
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		<title>Valen-Times</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=441</link>
		<comments>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=441#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Feb 2012 02:56:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[I have heard the grumblings of the masses- Valentine&#8217;s Day was created by candy and card companies so they can make a buck and force lovers into uneasy proclamations. Yep, it is time to send that card, the chocolate, the diamond or something wrapped in red to show your love. I just ask this: is&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=441">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have heard the grumblings of the masses- Valentine&#8217;s Day was created by candy and card companies so they can make a buck and force lovers into uneasy proclamations. Yep, it is time to send that card, the chocolate, the diamond or something wrapped in red to show your love. I just ask this: is it wrong to look forward to Valentine&#8217;s Day? Maybe it is the one day a year that some couples make any gesture, boundaried or not, to say they love the one their with. Out in the big cities across this nation, young lovers and old will fight for parking spaces at the hot-spot restaurants, and splurge on champagne and dessert, some getting lucky with the party continuing at home.</p>
<p>Why complain? What is up with that?</p>
<p>Personally I L O V E Valentine&#8217;s Day! Even when I not a part of a couple, it is so nice to watch others show their love. It is sort of contagious! Why feel sorry for oneself if single on that day- get out and spectate (without being creepy) and bask in that loving energy? Lucky for me I have two daughters and I get to send some love their way.</p>
<p>I was taught in elementary school that EVERYONE gets a card! I remember sitting for what felt like hours at my dining room table with my box of cards and working diligently to give just the <em>right</em> card to each person in my class. We had made boxes earlier, and they were waiting to be filled with cards-  opened at the party that day complete with red cupcakes and red punch. The 1960&#8242;s rocked! Yep- I studied my Flintstones cards and gave the ones that said &#8220;Be My Valentine&#8221; to the deserving kids..the ambiguous ones, the &#8220;Happy Valentine&#8217;s Day!&#8221; or &#8220;Love Rocks&#8221; to the kids I really didn&#8217;t know. The &#8220;I love You&#8221; card&#8230;well, it went out when there was a special boy who had circled yes when I asked him if he loved me in a note given to him by my best friend. In every box of cards there was a teacher card- it was so cool to give a card to the teacher every year; you know I think they enjoyed reading those messy signatures as much as we enjoyed writing them!</p>
<p>I like getting recognition on V-Day from my significant other- I will not lie. If he decided it was not his thing to bow to societal pressure just because it is February 14th, he isn&#8217;t the boy for me!! The same guy who begrudges V-Day will do the same with birthday&#8217;s, anniversaries&#8230;Christmas- a real whirlpool of nothing. Boring in my opinion.</p>
<p>I do not insist on receiving jewels, though if it was affordable and would not take away from the grocery money- jewels would be cool! I do not insist on chocolate. One year Charlie went to the mall and splurged on a big box of Godiva chocolates. I am a sweet-aholic and ended up consuming almost half of the box in a 24 hour period. That means I ate half of every chocolate he picked for the box. Each one was different, and he personally pointed to them to be placed in the pillowed heart-shaped box. Funny- I became pillow-like within a few days after receiving the gift!  I would rather not get a box of chocolates- UNLESS it is a repeat of that year. I kept the Godiva box in hopes of a refill&#8230;someday maybe. Charlie told me there was a discount if you brought in the box- I have it! It is ready!</p>
<p>What I really like doing for V-Day is to change up our routine and get away if we can and just enjoy each other the way we did when we first met. I like landing in a place where the only thing we  need to fill our time with is each other. The magic of the early days..can we ever really feel that way again without splitting up and finding someone new who makes us not want to eat and lose 10 pounds just because we are so damned happy? Nah- what we end up with if we are lucky is a mature love, a sustainable relationship where we continue to make the correct moral choices to edify the relationship.</p>
<p>I say the correct moral decision on Valentine&#8217;s Day is some sort of special recognition to your lover that they indeed still are the one that deserves the special card from the box!</p>
<p>&#8220;Be My Valentine!&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Blogging is Hazardous if it isn&#8217;t about Food or Fashion</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=444</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 10 Feb 2012 02:29:24 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Blogging is hazardous if it isn&#8217;t about food, fashion or prairie life. I have had my share of comments from my writing; most of them are good. The rest, usually from someone close to me in either proximity or storyline, get riled up over what I write, which is my revelations in life. My truths. My perceptions.&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=444">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Blogging is hazardous if it isn&#8217;t about food, fashion or prairie life. I have had my share of comments from my writing; most of them are good. The rest, usually from someone close to me in either proximity or storyline, get riled up over what I write, which is my revelations in life. My truths. My perceptions. I am pretty clear in my message, I want to figure this thing out&#8230;this life with all of the stuff that came in my Barbie Box when I was placed in the family as the fourth child of four to a mother and father whose struggles twisted my world, disfiguring the road that could have been mine, making me work like hell to get to my destination in the form and glory that should be.</p>
<p>And my life really wasn&#8217;t that bad. I think most people have some ego dents to a lesser or fuller degree because no mom and dad is perfect, and no mom and dad really knows who their child, in their last days, will be. Where are the guide books anyway? See, I think that is where God comes in&#8230;through spirit we connect to what is our perfection, and that Perfect Being can place us where we are suppose to be.</p>
<p>If we put forth the effort to listen.</p>
<p>So, I write to share the luminosity in some things I learned or am learning. From where I sit I see my book shelf, full of so many books and so many are those intended to help me be a better me. I have revisited some of my friends on occasion and find that the writing in them is not much different in message than my blog. I guess what gets me knee-deep in nasty sometimes is that I tell my truth: truth doesn&#8217;t just set us free; it can really piss other people off!</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
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		<title>Goodbye, Chocolate</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=439</link>
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		<pubDate>Thu, 09 Feb 2012 00:15:06 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Dear Chocolate, I must say goodbye. Our relationship is not healthy- at least not for me. Though you are there whenever I want, I began to wonder why I needed you and wanted you so much. I couldn&#8217;t walk past you; I found myself staring at you whenever you were in the room. How can&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=439">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear Chocolate,</p>
<p>I must say goodbye. Our relationship is not healthy- at least not for me. Though you are there whenever I want, I began to wonder why I needed you and wanted you so much. I couldn&#8217;t walk past you; I found myself staring at you whenever you were in the room. How can I focus on myself when you are constantly on my mind.</p>
<p>You say it is my problem? You are right. It is me. I need to work on me and work on becoming all I can be. Unfortunatley, due to my addiction to you, and yes, it is an addiction, all contact between us must stop. I know that when you are I are together I savor each second- but like any additction, I chase those seconds and want more and more of you. When it is over, I feel so bad about myself. Where is my restraint? Why do you have to be so delicious?</p>
<p>I cannot see you at all for a while. If you are in the same room, know I will be looking the other way, I must ignore you and gain the strength to keep you out of my reach. You see, you haven&#8217;t given me anything worthwhile other than those few, fleeting flavorful moments. My inFATuation is out of control&#8230;you have left me with wider hips and bigger belly. I gave you the best years of my life. Damn you chocolate! <em>Snickers</em>, <em>Reeses</em> <em>Peanut Butter Cups</em>, <em>Godiva</em>, with your free truffle once a month I drive 30 miles in order to have you, <em>Lindt </em>and your creamy filling, the one American chocolate bar I crave&#8230;<em>Symphony</em>, honey specked <em>Toblerone</em>, and all of you dark chocolate bars with weird names I see at Wholefoods&#8230;you aren&#8217;t good for me even if you are in WHOLEFOODS!!</p>
<p>I hear you are good for me if taken dark and in very small amounts; but I have no resolve. An ounce of you is never enough&#8230;never.</p>
<p>Will we meet again? Yes, but in the future once I gain control of this love I have for you. You have no loyalty to me- the world is yours. If there is anyway you can be good for me in large quantities, give me a fudgy nudgy. In the meantime- it is goodbye.</p>
<p>I am seeing carob now, and though carob is not YOU, carob will do.</p>
<p>Kim</p>
<p>P.S. Chips&#8230;you are on notice&#8230;so are you bread!</p>
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		<title>Mom&#8217;s Purse</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=429</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:21:14 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[My mother always carried a purse and every purse looked the same: Basic black, small handle and big enough to hold anything she may have to produce at any given moment. I used to kid her and tell her she could go on Let&#8217;s Make a Deal, and win if she added a boiled egg.&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=429">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My mother always carried a purse and every purse looked the same: Basic black, small handle and big enough to hold anything she may have to produce at any given moment. I used to kid her and tell her she could go on Let&#8217;s Make a Deal, and win if she added a boiled egg. Monty always seemed to ask for those. I believe a snapshot into mom&#8217;s purse was a snapshot into her mind: or, better said; &#8220;what was she thinking carrying that in her purse&#8230;for <em>twenty</em> years?&#8221;</p>
<p>Mary Poppins and my mother had similar purses. When Mary pulled out a lamp from her purse I was not as impressed as a child should be. My mother had been pulling anything I ever needed from her purse; she was my own Mother Poppins. Even the spoonful of sugar idea was used in every cough drop she produced from the black bag whenever I coughed. She always had tissues, too, but they were always in a crumbled up mess. I never did trust mom&#8217;s tissues. I should mention that in my next therapy session.</p>
<p>The purse was an elusive beast. She could never find it. All of her children knew <em>The Call</em>. &#8220;<em>Where&#8217;s my purse? Has anyone seen my purse? Where&#8217;s my purse?&#8221;</em> With that cry, all of us HAD to stop what we were doing, even if it was in the bathroom, and join the search for her purse. Easter eggs were a pleasure to find- her purse was a heavy burden. No one could rest until we heard the next cry that she &#8216;found it&#8217; and how weird that it was just &#8216;right there,&#8217; and how she didn&#8217;t remember putting it there. Hello? Captain Obvious?</p>
<p>What I remember most about the purse was the green stamps. She would stuff mounds of stamps into the purse and at some random moment we would be called to the dining room table and put the green stamps into the green stamp booklets. Each session would last hours, with green stamps left unlicked, and incomplete books placed willy nilly in the stack of completed books. It just didn&#8217;t matter because after years of collecting and licking stamps our family had nothing to show for the effort. Mom never did redeem those stamps; the hundreds of books cluttered the hutch. Now I wonder if she was collecting them for the big prize&#8230; maybe a new life in Aruba.</p>
<p>Mom&#8217;s purse was never stylish and never cost more than a few dollars. I was raised by a woman whose only criteria for a purse was that it was black, big and would clasp shut. It was usually a clasp issue that sent her looking for a new bag. Whenever she transferred the contents from the old purse to the new one, I pulled up a front row seat and watched. It was indeed a spectacle, an unveiling of all the contents in the old purse by dumping them on a table. It was always astonishing how big the pile was compared to the compartment in which it has been housed. It takes talent to stuff a purse and still find the keys to the house! Only during purse transfers did she sort the contents and throw two to three items away. Tissues were always in the trash pile. (Oprah, I just had an Ah Ha moment!) The new purse would then be stuffed with the old items and with transfer complete, the purse would be promptly placed somewhere..and be lost until we all helped to find it.</p>
<p>The cycle of the purse.</p>
<p>I marvel at the many styles of purses and admit I have no idea why any woman would HAVE to HAVE a certain purse. I carry a purse Chas bought me as a Christmas gift three years ago. It is an old bag now, but since I don&#8217;t comprehend what is in style or not in style, I can only guess the <em>look</em> is fine. The magnet clasp is giving me trouble- the sign a new purse is needed. I have tried to open my mind to the artistic beauty of the expensive bags. I have watched a style show on purses and still, I just don&#8217;t get it. Why would ANY woman, even the Real Housewives, pay thousands of dollars for a purse? Is it the designer name that brings the bucks or the design? I am guessing bags are like modern art: The beauty is in the eyes of the people one runs with.</p>
<p>Luckily, my circle of friends are not into thousand dollar purses. If they were, I still wouldn&#8217;t care. When I look for a bag I am a lot like my mom; basic color that will go with anything and big enough to hold the stuff I want with me at all times. I probably wouldn&#8217;t win anything on Let&#8217;s Make a Deal, and of course there aren&#8217;t any loose green stamps bottom feeding on dust particles&#8230;oh, and,  <strong><em>MY </em></strong>tissues are in a plastic wrapper.</p>
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		<title>Faith without Works</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=424</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Jan 2012 16:20:10 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[I was told he was praying for me everyday. In the past, he told me himself, &#8220;I light a candle for you everyday.&#8221; Until I melded my life with a Catholic, I wasn&#8217;t sure what the whole candle lighting thing was- now I have a better idea, and a candle constantly flickering in my home;&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=424">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was told he was praying for me everyday. In the past, he told me himself, &#8220;I light a candle for you everyday.&#8221; Until I melded my life with a Catholic, I wasn&#8217;t sure what the whole candle lighting thing was- now I have a better idea, and a candle constantly flickering in my home; when it burns out another is lit. Every morning and night we say a prayer, it is a nice reminder, and a small fire hazard; but I am hopeful that the Saint of All Lost Causes keeps us safe.</p>
<p>I am not flattered by the daily prayer vigil on my behalf. What would tickle my soul literally is if this person were to show he cared. On the other end of that prayer I can veraciously proclaim- it means nothing; absolutely zero. Faith without works is dead, and the candle lit on that daily basis burns only for the ego that lit it.</p>
<p>Isn&#8217;t this the way of most prayers? &#8220;I am praying for you&#8221; is our easy out. It helps to send the good vibes in this Age of Aquarius, but that next step of SHOWING one cares is when the prayer takes off. While living in Germany in the 1980&#8242;s, we had a great car we had purchased for two hundred dollars; in retrospect, the neighbor gave us his car to help our fledgling family. It had heat, which made me very happy. All US citizens had to have a USA sticker on the vehicle, which made us a target during what I call &#8220;the planes over Libya&#8221; uneasiness. Someone stuck a rod into our fuel tank leaving us without a vehicle for 2 months.</p>
<p>During that time, I learned a lot about good intentions, and what they really mean. &#8220;If you need anything, let us know. A ride to the commissary, the clinic, just anything; call any of us,&#8221; was the promise from the president of the Protestant Women of the Chapel. I was the public relations officer and very active with the &#8216;women.&#8217; I was grateful; and being a long-term survivalist, I utilized the offer. &#8220;Hi, I was wondering if I could get a ride to the commissary? No, oh- you just got back, well okay, next time you go could you call me and maybe I could hitch a ride then?&#8221; Not once was anyone there for me when I asked. Not once. I used the bus, the cab and the trains; which was fine for me, and I made a vow, I would never lie about what I was willing to do in the name of Jesus.</p>
<p>I saw a Volkswagen van for sale on post and wrote down the number. We didn&#8217;t have any cash, and the 1300 dollars was like a million- so I tucked the number away and prayed that some how we could get that van. It was during that time we got the call my mother was dying and we left Germany for a month to see her and visit others in the states. Upon our arrival back in Germany, a friend and fellow soldier, Jeff Cooper, offered us a thousand dollars to buy something to get us back on the road. We knew him from the Hospitality House, a Christian ministry for soldiers and their families. Every week we gathered for Bible Studies, dinners and fun. Jeff was one of those people we felt was a part of our family, and like a good brother he offered some help.</p>
<p>I pulled the number out of the drawer for the van and the couple selling it were preparing to ship it back to the states; in two days they were having to drive to Bremerhaven, an eight hour drive, to get it on the slow boat to America. &#8220;We will drive out to let you see it, but we are solid on the 13 hundred dollar price,&#8221; the van owner told me. I knew all we had was the thousand, a deal was still going to be made- I felt the van was ours the moment it was revealed it hadn&#8217;t sold in the last month. We drove it, checked the engine and offered the thousand. The couple balked and said no. I told them &#8220;sixteen hours on the road tomorrow is worth 300 dollars. We have cash,&#8221; I pulled out the money and put it in his hand. He looked at his wife, shrugged his shoulders and said, &#8220;Okay.&#8221;</p>
<p>The first thing we did after we thanked Jeff and set up a payment plan was to pray. We offered our van to anyone who would need the help. You see, I was so totally hurt that none of my fellow Women of the Chapel were available for a ride to the commissary, that I vowed not to get mad, but to get even by putting our van where our prayers were. We vowed if anyone needed our van- we would help them. At midnight we had a knock on the door. We had the van for one day and our prayer was being &#8216;answered.&#8217; &#8220;Seven of my men are in a small bit of trouble in Munich- they are drunk and being held by the Politzi; can I use your van to get them?&#8221; We lived in the same building as this sergeant, never spoke much to him, and didn&#8217;t even know his first name. The keys were in his hand before he finished his story; the boys were brought home safe.</p>
<p>In the next month we let our van go to pick up furniture, take a baby to the clinic and brought extra groceries from the commissary for someone who, like me a month before, had no &#8216;ride.&#8217; &#8220;I was praying and God told me&#8230;&#8221; This is another fun phrase I heard a lot during my Protestant Women of the Chapel days. I had to address poor Deidra, a woman being forced by God to help me; &#8220;Hey, if God is telling you do to something for me, and you really are adverse to the whole thing- let it go. See, I think helping someone shouldn&#8217;t be a test, something you really don&#8217;t want to do, but you yield in order to be a good Christian. Deidra you are off the hook. I will tell God to leave you alone.&#8221;</p>
<p>Poor Deidra, she had God telling her to give me her children&#8217;s hand-me-downs, take me to Shannon&#8217;s pediatric appointment, (post van purchase) and God was insisting she call me. &#8220;God put it on my heart to call you&#8230;God put it in my heart to take you to the clinic&#8230;&#8221; It was evident that if God wasn&#8217;t so insisting, she would have nothing to do with me. After I told her to please not feel forced by God to help and I was fine,she never offered anything other than her perfectly pious advice. My husband was an E-3, hers was a Captain; she must have felt some guilt over that- who knows.</p>
<p>Is there a verse about good works with a heavy sigh? I am guilty of saying &#8220;I will pray for you&#8221; then not doing anything else to help. I sometimes tend toward the excuse of staying out of the other&#8217;s way- that someone else will help. I note this: that if I have a heavy sigh along with surrender to what I think God would want from me- it cancels the latter out. Aren&#8217;t the people who do stuff for others with a big smile and a pureness cool?</p>
<p>Do I want the man who lights a candle for me to stop? I have no affinity one way or the other. I would rather he put into works what he prays for and show he cares by being there for me as one human can be for the other. For me there is no light between us, it flickers daily in vain.</p>
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		<title>Things I Know for Sure</title>
		<link>http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=421</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2012 16:46:33 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[One if the joys of being on the other side of middle age is clarity of mind&#8230;  at least SOMEtimes. I am certain there are many people who live with more clarity, but I take what I figure out one light bulb at a time. I know a few things for sure: I know to kiss&#8230; <a href="http://www.kimkerley.com/?p=421">Continue reading &#8594;</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One if the joys of being on the other side of middle age is clarity of mind&#8230;  at least SOMEtimes. I am certain there are many people who live with more clarity, but I take what I figure out one light bulb at a time. I know a few things for sure:</p>
<p>I know to kiss my next grandchild  more kisses before they turn two. After that, it just isn&#8217;t what they want even though it is all I can do to keep from grabbing that boy and just hug him and squeeze him and call his name George. (Looney Tune allusion). When my girls were babies I would grit my teeth to keep from hugging too hard. Momma lions have more attributes than attacking those who attack their young!</p>
<p>I know my children are a source of real joy, and any time I get with them and their families is a gift, and seeing them in person is better than looking at their pictures, but I know I need to keep snapping them as time continues, because, I know we are never as young as we are today.</p>
<p>What I know for sure is that our society is a direct reflection of how we raise our children and behave within the family unit. Period. I know too many children are being hurt because of their parents selfishness and stupidity. All parents make mistakes and no family is perfect, but kids need a chance to understand at least some level of moral and ethical behavior and be audience to parents trying to improve themselves in life. After watching yet another news story about a punk robbing his 80 year-old grandmother, I am convinced our country is worse today than even a decade before, and it isn&#8217;t the availability of information or number of people, it is the decline of the family and overall lack of teaching respect and honor regardless of circumstance.</p>
<p>I know that every human being has the right to be all they can be, but most of us struggle with the image of where we are and who we are in the now. I know when a person revels that they are truthful and speak their mind, they are just mean-spirited in their own brokenness. It is easier to judge others than ourselves, and in life it is better to focus on being a better person than chisel away at another person&#8217;s imperfect facade.</p>
<p>I know: If I eat butter like Paula Deen, I get sick.</p>
<p>When I set a goal I usually achieve it.</p>
<p>Working out makes me feel better.</p>
<p>Being kind to another person is the way. Didn&#8217;t Jesus stress that above all we know, to love our neighbor? If we do that, maybe life would be a smoother ride.</p>
<p>I could never forgive a person who hurts children. I also accept that about myself.</p>
<p>I love my dog, and believe animals have a spirit.</p>
<p>If a creative person has no outlet, they will shrivel up and die, maybe even literally.</p>
<p>No matter who is president of our country, it is being run by the needs of a few, who already have money and means and they aren&#8217;t making choices based on creating a better society.</p>
<p>I am old because even my daughters are too old for George Clooney.</p>
<p>I still turn heads, but the men are usually over 65. I will take it.</p>
<p>Discuss. What do you know?</p>
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